fiery performance

As soon as Angus caught wind about the sudden disappearance of Archibald Thunder, he made haste to get to the circus. His whole life, he'd grown up doing anything to make some quick goldleaf. Most of it was physical labor, helping with deliveries and hauling stuff around, but on occasion, he would put on a performance. 

During events and festivals, he would perform with his magic. He'd learned all sorts of tricks and stunts from his childhood performances. This would be the money-making opportunity of a lifetime, even if he only made an appearance for just one night. 

//

Angus weaved between the crowds of people gathered to enjoy the festivities of the Hallo'Moon Faire, keeping his head down but still spying some of his favorite childhood memories throughout the faire. Not that his family ever went, but Ravi's mother would always bring Angus and his sister along. 

Candied apples, Latorre's biggest pumpkin, and his favorite, of course, the high striker. He reminded himself to come back to that later. All kinds of vendors and carnival games were lined up surrounding the largest attraction of all; the marvelous circus tent. It towered above everything else, the orange glow seeping out from within the red and white flaps of the closed entrance. 

Angus fought through the hordes of people to get to some of the smaller tents surrounding the outskirts of the circus tent, looking for a green and blue striped one in which he had been told they were accepting talented cossets as temporary circus acts. 

When he finally found it, the line extending from the try-out tent nearly caused him to drop dead. He narrowed his eyes before begrudgingly trotting to the end of the line, arms crossed as he peered down the long queue of people, waiting to have their talents assessed. 

Angus tapped his hoof into the soft, muddy ground impatiently. Usually, he wouldn't mind waiting, but goldleaf was on the line. He waited for about a moment longer, and when the line didn't move in the slightest, he strode hastily to the front and pushed back the tent flaps to find some cosset showing off their act to the circus recruiter, which seemed to exclusively include them offering their cosprout treats to roll over. 

"Excuse me, sir, we're still going over an act right now. Could you please step back outside and wait your turn?" 

"I don't have the time to wait. I'm going to show you my act now," Angus declared simply, moving across the tent to stacks of boxes and loose items. He grabbed three juggling balls and began to juggle them. The recruiter sighed, likely having seen this a million times today. 

"Sir, you need to-" 

The recruiter was cut short when the balls seemed to catch fire, one by one, as they touched Angus' palms and were thrown up to be juggled. It was only the illusion of fire, however, as it was just a neat glowy magic trick he had learned long ago. But that was only a taste of what his performance would entail. 

He continued this for a while until he threw the balls high into the air, and one by one, they seemed to explode in a fiery burst of color, but it was just a small bit of illusionary magic. He could still do so much more, but the recruiter already seemed hooked, likely because they had been tasked to comb through hundreds of comparatively dull acts all day. 

The recruiter ushered out the other cosset who had been performing before Angus arrived, apologizing to them, and Angus heard as they also called out to everyone else that try-outs were closed for today. The cacophony of groans and complaints carried through the thin tent walls. He almost cracked a satisfied smile, but remained cool and collected, arms crossed over his chest as the recruiter re-entered the tent. 

"We'll take you. But only for tonight. We're going to wedge you in the middle of the show, since someone else is taking the allotted time for Archibald's closing act," they explained, speaking so quickly that Angus almost struggled to keep up. 

"And what about payment? How much can I expect? I'm letting you know now, I'll need at least a quarter of it paid before the performance, in case you stiff me and it's a total waste of time," Angus replied, tone dire and serious. He didn't mess around with money. 

"Don't worry about the payment, we'll get you sorted. Head over to the main tent and let them know that you're our one man spec. They'll get you briefed and ready," the recruiter instructed, words blurring together with how quickly they talked. Angus did as he was told, however, and he was whisked into his whirlwind of an evening. 

The preparation was intense. They ran through Angus' routine several times and made a very valiant attempt to outfit Angus in some fancy circus clothes, but he staunchly refused any outfit alterations with the exception of a Hallo'ween circus mask that covered the top half of his face. 

When attendees began filling the tent, Angus would peer out from behind the curtained off section where the performers were getting costumed and doing last minute preparation to get a view of people as they entered. He wondered distantly if he would see someone he recognized. 

In every sea of faces he looked into, he was always searching for the same  ones. It was rare he ever saw them, and when he did, he would have to look away for fear of being recognized. But now, hiding behind the curtain and with his face obscured, he gazed freely at everyone that passed by him, and he happened to spy two of the faces that always occupied his mind. They were unaware of his presence, smiling and chatting with one another, walking along with everyone else to filter into their seats. 

Angus retreated behind the curtain and looked down at himself, at his tails. He retreated to the depths of the costuming area in order to find a cloak. It would help him keep his tails hidden. The costumer ended up chastising him for wanting an outfit change now, despite how he had been so against it earlier, but he ended up being fitted in a dark green cloak that allowed Angus to curl up his tails beneath it with ease. 

He could hear the uproar of the crowd in the center of the tent. It seemed the show was already beginning. Angus still had plenty of time, so he snuck off once more and returned to peer out from behind the 

curtains and watch the performance. 

It was just as grand as he remembered, albeit much different without the lively ringmaster to keep it on track. Angus found his eyes wandering through the crowds of joyous people, looking for the same faces he glimpsed earlier. He managed to find them, sitting together in the lower bleachers. 

Ravi looked to be enjoying himself, and so did Angus’ sister. Angus just stood there, getting lost in old childhood memories of the three of them together. He remembered holding his sister's hand to make sure she never got lost in the crowds. He remembered sitting next to Ravi and marveling at the trapezists and acrobats together. 

Angus watched their faces darken as the spotlight honed in on the performance. His memories began to drift out of focus as he looked at them now, feeling strange yet prideful in seeing how much his sister had grown up. Ravi looked nearly unchanged by all the time that had passed but Angus knew that couldn't be the truth. 

He reminded himself that he left for a reason, that the both of them were successful and doing fine without him. This was the best possible outcome, however much Angus still regret never telling them both how much he cared for them. 

In the time that he got caught up in his own thoughts, his act was nearly meant to begin. Another performer appeared behind him, frantically yapping about how he was meant to be in position to exit. They dragged him back towards the main tunnel that led out to the sawdust and hay covered center of the tent. 

Angus had been so distracted that the subject of his payment slipped his mind and he strode through the tunnel after being urgently shoved by another performer, hastily handing him his juggling balls. He heard the fill-in ringmaster announcing his supposed ‘stage name’ that Angus had just told them to make up on the spot. 

“...And up next, for one night only, we have our one man spectacle! Our disguised man of mystery, our fiery handed fiend, give it up for our Masked Marigold!” 

The crowd cheered while Angus internally lamented giving them the freedom to pick his name, glowering as he stepped into the spotlight. He hadn't performed in so long, being under the gaze of more people than ever before almost made him freeze up, but he had grown not to be afraid of scrutinizing eyes and curious whispers. 

He walked to the center of the circle, kicking up clouds of dust behind him. When he reached his position, he whirled around and examined the crowd. In his very brief rehearsal, he had been told to smile and wave, to be energetic, but that wasn't what was going to impress people. His act, however, most definitely would. 

Angus threw up the first ball, the other two following after it, lighting up with the illusion of burning flames. Some of the crowd gasped interestedly, but this was still the very beginning. 

Another two balls were added to his juggling, picking up the pace and making the fiery orbs look more like a ring of flames that expanded and contracted as Angus saw fit. 

He tossed all the balls into the air simultaneously and kicked himself into the air to land an impressive backflip, hay and dust clouding around him when his hooves touched the ground, arms outstretched to catch the balls he had just tossed into the air. 

The crowd cheered and clapped at the spectacle, and Angus offered them a quick bow, but his act went on. He resumed his juggling, back to only three balls. It wasn't long before he tossed them all up again and they burst into orange sparkling flames, or simply just appeared to, because they all came right back down to Angus. 

The firework-like explosion seemed to get the best reaction yet, but there was still the matter of Angus’ big finale. Back to juggling the five flaming orbs, he threw them up a final time, one by one, arm stretched upward for them to roll back down his arm and give the audience the illusion of Angus swallowing them, but they instead would roll down his arm and fall down into the pouch at his side. 

When they were all gone, no more orange flaming lights, Angus put a hand to his mouth, feigning a burp. When he lowered his hand, black smoke appeared to be coming from his mouth. Cossets gasped anxiously while others watched intently on the edge of their seats, Angus leaned forward, hand on his stomach, mouth opened wide as an enormous wall of magic flames appeared to erupt from his mouth. He circled around the whole crowd, the illusion of fire nearly filling the entire tent and licking at the tips of many cosset ears. When he stood up straight and snapped his jaw shut, the flames were no more, and Angus’ performance was done. 

There was silence for a moment before the eruption of applause and hoots of delight. Angus’ eyes wandered around the bleachers until he spotted the same pair as before, both of them standing up and clapping enthusiastically. Angus noticed a glint of recognition in Ravi's eyes, causing him to look away quickly and wave goodbye to the rowdy crowd before retreating into the tunnel. 

Angus’ heart pounded hard in his chest as he strode into the tunnel, from both the exhilaration of his performance and the nerves of potentially being recognized. He hassled the person in charge of the circus in Archibald's absence to hurry and give him the goldleaf he was owed, which he eventually got, and made his hasty exit. He should've realized before stepping out of the tent that he would be less bothered by people if he had taken off his costume, because his act was the final one before intermission and floods of cossets were hoarding him in an attempt to ask questions about his performance, or complimenting him, or asking for autographs. 

Angus dodged every request and slipped through the crowds of people, hiding behind a carnival booth to take his mask and cloak off, bundling it up and holding it beneath his arm as he prepared to make his daring escape. 

“...Angus?” 

He whipped his head to the side to see a familiar face peeking from the side of the booth, Ravi's suit jacket tossed over his arm and hat in his hand. His face was partially covered in darkness, the rest of it was illuminated by the blue and purple light beaming from above. 

Angus considered turning around and running as fast as he could, but he couldn't bring himself to. Not again. 

“Is it really you?” 

His voice wavered with incredulous disbelief as he stared at Angus with wide eyes. He knew it was Angus, but he still couldn't believe it. Angus was paralyzed by Ravi's unblinking eyes. 

“Yes,” Angus murmured, slowly turning to completely face him. “I have to go, Ravi.” 

Ravi finally blinked, upon hearing his own name, his glassy eyes falling to the ground. “Yes, of course,” he mumbled, without malice, but the words still stung Angus. He wasn't even sure why. “Your performance was fantastic. Marj thought so too, although she criticized your fashion choices.” 

Angus suppressed a chuckle and smiled for a split second but it was wiped from his face immediately. “I'm sorry for leaving both of you behind,” he said suddenly, everything else he wanted to say getting caught in his throat, just like it did when he left the first time. 

Ravi's face was unreadable, so very much unlike the Ravi that Angus remembered. Ravi shook his head in a despairing manner, still looking down at the ground. “I don't blame you for leaving. I know why you did it now, but I just wish you had told me… I’m sorry, too, Angus. For what you had to go through.” 

Now, Angus’ gaze fell to the ground as he remembered the old fear he always felt, the explosive anger he was subject to on the day that he ran away. That was the day he had decided he hated this world, and that this world hated him. He remembered how determined he was to get away and find a better place. Throughout his years of traveling, however, he had discovered that he wasn’t welcome anywhere. 

He heard Ravi shuffle through the short brown grass to stand closer to Angus, who was now staring at Ravi’s hooves. Ravi lifted a hand and carefully rested it on Angus’ shoulder. “He’s gone now, you know…”

Angus nodded solemnly, remembering his secretive visit to his hometown in which he finally reckoned with the last of his childhood fear. 

“...And, well, I don’t know, your sister misses you, Angus, she really needs you. I’ve tried my best to break her out of her shell, to be a brother to her, and she’s grown up to be just as amazing as you told me she would grow up to be, but… I don’t think I could ever fill in for you,” Ravi managed, stumbling over some of his words in the throes of his anxiety. His hand never left Angus’ shoulder, in fact, his grip only seemed to tighten. When Angus looked up at him, he could see the cracks in Ravi’s stony expression, the threat of tears. 

Angus felt the familiar sting of shame pierce him, at abandoning his sister and at reducing Ravi to a nervous wreck when he had just been smiling and laughing not so long ago. He had to stop himself from apologizing again, because it was all he ever wanted to do. Ravi spoke a lot about Angus’ sister, but not of himself, and Angus wondered with a slamming heart if Ravi ever wanted anything to do with him again. “What about you, Ravi?” 

“Me?” 

He echoed the word in a hollow manner, blinking rapidly as he stared at Angus, expression twisting anguishedly. 

“Do you miss me?” 

Angus watched his lip tremble and Ravi embarrassedly looked away and covered his face, shaking his head and taking a step back. “Of course I do,” he managed, in a shaky whisper. “How could I not?” 

Angus dropped the bundle he had been holding to the ground before he took a step forward and closed the small gap between them, wrapping an arm around Ravi urgently and closing his eyes as he grimaced to himself in the embrace. Ravi wrapped his arms around Angus tight, pressing his face into his shoulder. It had been eight years since they held one another, but it still felt the same, however different the both of them were. Angus could feel the wet tears on his shoulder and had to steel himself.

“I’ve never been as good an actor as you. You’ve always been able to put on a great performance,” Ravi sniffed, chuckling to himself somberly. 

Angus tightened his embrace, willing himself to keep the whirlwind of emotions within him. “You’re just easy to fool,” he mumbled in response, causing Ravi to laugh, although it broke off into a quiet, shuddering cry. 

Ravi muttered something unintelligible into Angus’ shoulder, and the two of them held their embrace for a long while, until finally breaking apart and saying goodbye to each other. It wouldn’t be goodbye for long.